Stan's Kwalitee Danegoods

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Revision as of 19:52, 29 May 2010 by Robkelk (Talk | contribs) (brought article into agreement with the Myths of Fenspace article and the SOS-Con stories)

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The fenish equivalent of the little shop that wasn't there yesterday[1], Stan's is a persistent myth throughout Fenspace. A small, seedy vendor selling various items, from 'dane-made trinkets to junk food[2], and other oddments that just happened to fall off the back of a passing shuttle. The various stories and tales place Stan's on just about every station and major port in known space, at one time or another[3].

The stories all agree that anything bought from Stan's is of dubious quality, either about to break or already broken and held together by gum and hope, and quite possibly stolen from someone who'd really like it back. And if it's in any way edible, it will be spiked with 'wavium. Stan supposedly makes his money selling to the desperate, inattentive, gullible and 'Dane tourists.

Stan exists - he once set up shop on Stellvia for a quarter-hour before station security chased him off, and his booth was one of the larger suppliers of novelty clothing[4] at SOS-Con - but most people think the sheer number of stories about Stan's Kwalitee Danegoods could not have been created by the actions of one person. The real Stan doesn't deal in "lost" property... or if he does, he's very good at covering his tracks.

Still, to be on the safe side when shopping or looking for a box of pocky at a con, just remember: even with the 'wave TANSTAFL.

Notes

  1. And won't be there tomorrow, when you try to get a refund.
  2. possibly inna bun
  3. The real Stan doesn't move around that much, so he's either got a lot of very short-lived copycats, or some imitators who can move about in ways that make the Ninja envious
  4. Well, everybody except Stan called it "novel" when they were being polite.