Difference between revisions of "Another Fine Mess"

Revision as of 22:41, 15 January 2010

KJ smiled sheepishly at Ben as she took a sip from her Guinness. "I'm KJ,from the racing committee first off," she said extending a hand. "Don't know that we've met face to face before. Normally I'm male, but handwavium..."

A look of comprehension dawned on Ben's face. "Ah. That stuff will do as it pleases."

I let out a low whistle, "Sexchange biomod? Ouch."

"Quasi-Jusenkyo really," she replied. Benjamin snorted at that. While not a Ranma fan, he was very much familiar with the consequences of a Jusenkyo curse. "Irritating, but what're you going to do? And you are?"

I held my hand out, and gave one of my business cards with my other hand, "Laurent Veilleux, Captain of the Schrottplatz."

KJ took the card, examined it for a moment and put it in the pocket of her Hawaiian shirt. "Ah, okay, I've heard of you... I'm chief engineer on the Ptichka, in addition to hobbies..."

I winced at the heard of you part, no doubt my drones figured in whatever reputation I had.

"At any rate," KJ continued, "no worries about womanly abuse coming your ways... I was trying to track down other racers and put faces to ships and names, but... you two hear about what's behind this whole thing yet?"

"Not yet," said Ben. "But I figure that we'll hear about it soon. Though I couldn't imagine what this Con is for from the announcement. Somebody needs to shoot their computer."

I considered for an instant, and decided to be honest, "I have." KJ nodded, not surprised.

"You _have_" said Ben, turning to Laurent. "Please, do tell."

KJ shrugged. "I don't think there was any prohibition on spreading knowledge; I heard second-hand."

"Well, it was only a teaser really, but a member of the SOS-dan came to me to ask for my support tomorrow. You've heard of the raider attacks right?"

"The hell I have. Sent a couple of the damn sunnuvabitches to their maker about a month ago. They haven't messed with me since." I nodded.

"I never met them myself, but my ship is far from theft material so I'm not surprised. Anyway, somehow, the SOS bunch have, somehow, come by critical information regarding them that paints a much... grimmer picture than what anyone else suspects and they want to organize some sort of task force to counter them."

KJ spoke up. "Cards on the table, the Star's probably going to be throwing in whether it passes as a group activity or not."

"She's armed?" asked Ben, taken a little by surprise.

"I don't think I'm supposed to answer that," KJ replied with a grin. "But there's advantages to trying to do mushytech."

Ben shook his head in wonder and admiration. "That there certainly is."

I snapped up, "Damnit, that reminds me again." I chugged down the rest of my shot glass before deciding to clarify, "I already said yes, but my ship has no weapons, and the hulls the only defensive system."

Ben shrugged. "Well, don't look at me. Gina's got her toys from the professor."

"I don't know that anyone knows what the... opposition is using," KJ pointed out. "Hell, it might devolve into boarding actions."

"I dunno. Before you can even board a ship, especially a Boskonian, you gotta pull its teeth first."

I looked from one to the other and thought, "Boarding actions, I can live with that." but then, I heard a word that I didn't know, "Boskonian?"

"Old game reference that is used to refer to these ass wipes," Ben answered.

"Maybe there'll be more intel... dunno." KJ swirled her Guinness around in its glass. "Really irritating though... some assholes wanting to go and screw things up for the rest. And I so wanted to try the WRX in the buggy-races..." the last sentence being muttered more than anything.

"I'll be there next time," said Ben with a big grin by way of challenge.

I shrugged, "Never heard that word, guess I'll have to google it later." I turned to the other, "And I was looking forward to looking at some races from orbit, I'm thinking it'd really be something, so you'd better send me a quick e-mail whenever you do it."

KJ grinned. "Well, we're both in the space races, but someone hatched the idea of buggy races on surfaces, so... if someone hosts it, the racers will come." Ben nodded agreement.

"I'll be sure to let you guys know about anything I'm involved in, race wise. As for the buggies, Gina's already all over that like flies on stink. She's been trading e-mails with the Professor about mods to her chassis to support a hot-swap suspension system."

"Kinda cheating if she's capable of flying around though..." KJ mentioned and then shrugged. "I'll have to see how well the hardtech-spec WRX does in testing I suppose..."

I had no mirrors to check... but I'm pretty sure my eyes were glazed over by that point. I'm just not a racer I guess.

"Oh no, heaven forbid that I cheat. That's what the hot-swap is for," Ben continued explaining. "Rapid swap out of her existing hover system and street wheels for an all-terrain rig."

"Hrm, workable," KJ responded after thinking about it for a few seconds. "Maybe not even that hard. How much of the subframes did you end up modifying for the conversion... er... uh oh, looks like we're losing Laurent."

Ben chuckled at that. "Indeed. Back on topic. Raiders. Boskonians. And what this SOS-dan intends to do about them."

I snapped back to attention at that, "I'm not sure what they intend to do, but I'm guessing a HUGE hunting party with whatever whacko at the head of the SOS in charge. Speaking of whacko, the Professor met her and, according to him, she's even MORE" I mimicked quotes, " 'Enthusiastic' than him." I shuddered at that.

KJ blinked at that. "... that may be interesting to see." Ben's reaction was more severe.

"WHAT!?" cried out Ben with an odd, incredulous grin on his face. "Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho-hooaaa! This I have got to see in person." He paused. "But really... These raiders are scum-dogs supreme. If they want some fighter-support, then I'm all for it and I don't think Gina will refuse either. She lives for that kind of high."

"Fighter-scale armament may take some doing," KJ responded. "Occurs to me that scouts would be useful though; gauging capabilities and whatnot."

"Well," I said, "if you want recon, I'm pretty sure I could stea, er... acquire a few mopeds dirt-side, put drones in them and tell them to go take a look at the enemy fleet I guess."

"Mopeds are good too," agreed KJ. "Whatever of the space racers are volunteering probably have more capable things handy, but if we add up to enough for all the recon that needs doing. After that... hrm... heh heh. Reminds me. Dee?" A 4 inch tall holographic girl appeared about a foot from KJ's face. "Yeah, bosslady?" KJ grimaced at that. "Just remind me to pick up enough guacamole for the Priss project."

"Priss project?" asked Ben, arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah, well... I was tinkering with powered exoskeleton designs on CAD and whatnot even before the handwavium broke out. After, things got easier, what with power supplies and wavium actuators and such so I thought I might cosplay as a Knight Sabre at a future con."

Ben gaped. "..... KJ, that so rocks. You bring the Hard Suit, I'll bring the Alter Ability."

I piped up at that, "And I'll bring the quasi-genuine copy know-how if you want," I commented wryly.

Benjamin grinned slyly. "Sounds like we could possibly make a dangerous trio."

KJ blushed a bit, took a sip from her Guinness. "Don't get me wrong... I'm not as militant as some, but it's been in the back of my head since day one that things might go wrong... and I spend a lot of time thinking."

Ben nodded. "Same here, but I've already taken precautions. I'm glad to have the professor for a friend, otherwise, I don't know if I would have ever gotten Gina armed up the way I wanted to in time to take care of the raiders I nuked."

I groaned a bit, "Damnit, am I the only one that was going around hoping that we could be peaceful out in fenspace with only the occasional Trekies-Warsies conflicts?

"No, you're far from the only one hoping," KJ responded with emphasis on the last word. "Maybe it'll turn out that way eventually but if nothing else, the 'danes might figure out how to be problematic at some point."

"Yeah, there's always some dumb-ass trying to screw up a good thing for everyone else just because they're scared or they're greedy. That's why we need to be vigilant," Ben agreed.

KJ shrugged and smiled. "... that and I've never been a Trekkie."

I grumbled and did my best Mc'Coy voice, "Damnit Jim, I'm a mechanic, not a warrior."

"Even the mechanics have a place, Bones," Ben responded, and KJ snickered somewhat.

That last comment made me snort, but after a moment, I suddenly had an idea. "Wait a second, I know. Instead of recon vehicles, I could make the mopeds into highly mobile repair drones to keep the fleet in shape. Hell, I can even make them copies of one fandom or another's material and sell them afterwards."

Ben grasped the idea immediately. "Sweet! Combat tenders!" KJ nodded.

"That's an interesting one. Fleets though... kinda weird. I wonder how large the problem actually is, y'know? It's definitely a change in the order of things."

"Maybe that's why the SOS-dan is calling as many Fen together as possible," Ben proposed.

"Think about it though... it's sort of going to be moving towards having enforced... well, laws, at least in the broadest sense."

I hmm'ed, "And it also suddenly makes fendom seem less vulnerable and more united."

Ben grinned. "Yeah. That sounds about right to me. Just like back home in the good old days."

"Have to kinda wonder what Mal's take on the long-term political crap's going to be," KJ pondered out loud. "I'm just a damned tinkerer after all."

"Well, I'm a tinkerer too," Ben commented, "But I think I got too much of the old blood alive in me. I'm looking forward to opening up a nice can of vigilante whoop-ass mayhem on these guys."

"You're saying this to a lady-shaped gentleman with combat boots and daisho."

I snorted and said, tongue in cheek, "Who better to say that to?"

Ben chuckled and held his hands up in a defensive 'Hey-hey, not me' gesture.

KJ chuckled at me. "Who better to say it to indeed," she replied, then muttered and repeated it in a raised voice to go over the increasingly loud tones coming from a different section of the bar. "Mou, what the hell are they arguing about?"

Ben peeked around KJ. It was kind of comical, given the way Ben's ponytail-with-a-mind-of-its-own was whipping around in its non-existent breeze. "Dunno," said Ben. "Sounds like a heated debate over subs versus dubs."

As soon as I heard the words 'subs versus dubs', I couldn't help but mentally scream, 'Not again!'

"Ah. Of course. How silly of me. What else would they be arguing about in a Senshi-themed bar?" Even over the increasing racket, the dry irritation in KJ's voice came through clearly. "Now if only... hey!" she said as she suddenly grabbed her pint glass and leaned to the side to avoid a man reeling into the bar.

Ben, despite his smallish size gracefully caught the man before he could have a harsh encounter with the bar. "Easy there man. Don't wanna get yourself hurt, now." The ungrateful drunk slurred something about Ben being a damned subber and aimed a sloppy blow at him. Ben took the punch, twisting with it to lighten the blow. He then glares at the drunk and nonchalantly reaches into an inside pocket, removes a credit chit, and says, "I apologize in advance, bar keep. "This should help cover the expenses."

Meanwhile I stood up and accidentally stumbled into another drunk wandering by. Before I could do anything, he slurred something about 'stupid dubbers' and swung at me. I let the punch harmlessly hit my chest, before replying with an haymaker that sent him straight to the sandman's kingdom.

Ben stood up, cast his arm out to the side, and then his barstool dissolved. Suddenly, his right arm began to glow and actually _split_ between his knuckles. Something like glowing cable materials from the dematerialised barstool wrapped itself around his arm, binding it back together as organic-looking armor began to materialize along the whole length of his arm, including his shoulder. Behind his shoulder were three wicked looking spikes curving off to the side. "Okay, you jerk. Let's dance."

I turned around and arched an eyebrow at Ben's new attire, "Were you thinking of Guyver when you got THAT biomod?"

Ben laid the first drunk low with a spectacular power-punch to the face and replied, "It's a special custom job. Didn't I mention that the Professor is a friend of mine?"

I frowned, "So there's really weapon's grade 'Wavium?"

Ben now proceeded to knock drunkards down. None of them decided that they wanted to get back up from their forced nap time. "Nope! Just weapon's grade biomods! WHOOO-HOOO!"

KJ grimaced and finished her Guinness in a long pull, casually setting the glass back on the bar. "Right, I see we're in this stage of... WHAT THE HELL!" KJ interrupted herself as another drunk took the opportunity to glomp her. She turned bright red at the rather short drunk burying his face in her chest, her mouth open in what would almost be a scream of surprise if noise were coming out. The reaction finally came a bare handful of seconds later when her brain caught up and she drove the hilt of her katana into the drunk's stomach. "Ugh... y'know," she commented conversationally as she planted the toe of her boot into the drunk's stomach again to drive the point of her displeasure home. "I didn't try for this biomod. I don't mind it most of the time but..." She paused to drive an elbow into another face. "Sometimes..."

I leant to the side to look at our 'female' companion over Ben's shoulder. Considering the way she was pummelling the drunk, I guessed I was better off not knowing, and instead pulled out a pipe wrench out of my tool-belt and held it at the ready.

KJ added another kick for good measure and paused to properly rearrange the sheathed katana in her belt and growled. "I swear, it's just not possible to understand how disconcerting getting groped is without being female," she muttered as she head butted another fan.

I did not wait long as a James Kirk wannabe fen swaggered confidently to me. His wink to one of the nearby waitresses made me think that he was hopping to impress her or some such. I took advantage of the fact that he was looking elsewhere to punch him with the hand holding the wrench, seeing no need to use it on the over-confident moron.

Suddenly, a rather large and hulking specimen of Fen stalked up behind Benjamin and sucker punched him in the kidneys, causing Ben to snarl in pain and rage as he recoils from the blow and finds that it was a Trekky modded into a freakin' Klingon.

"Honorless bastard!" snarled Ben incisively. "Lemme show you how it's DONE!" A few Fen knew what was coming and quickly began to get the hell out of the way...

"SHOCKING FIRST BULLET!!!" screamed Ben as one of the spikes protruding from his shoulder disintegrated and was converted into kinetic energy that fuelled his mad charging power-punch that drove the Klingon through tables, chairs, unsuspecting Fen, and the outside wall of the Bar.

KJ paused at the scream and the colossal impact. "Oh. That. Err... Ben?"

I turned my head to look at the havoc, "Isn't that... y'know... a bit much?"

"No no, not that... them." She gestured to the horde of fangirls on the outside of the bar, now visible through the large hole in the wall.

I followed her finger with my eyes, and saw the female horde. For some reason, I felt the need to make my best imitation of Neo, "Whoa."

Ben suddenly looked up and saw that he was surrounded by startled Magical Pretty Girls of all sorts. Suddenly, they all cheered wildly, "OH RUHODESU SAMA!!!! HE'S SO STRONG!" Ben gulped audibly and uttered, "oohhh shit..."

KJ blinked as the horde of Magical Pretty Girls and other assorted ravening fangirls paused their charge and swivelled their gazes away from Ben and towards a tall, buxom redhead. Namely herself. "Oh ass," she sighed, knowing that because there's conventions to be followed, she was going to get mobbed by people seeing her as a rival for Ben's affections. Whether it was a side-effect of the handwavium, or just ingrained programming wasn't something she had time to ponder at the moment.

Ben suddenly made a crazy, wobbly armed back dash back into the bar, looking for cover as all the senshi began to pile into the bar, sensibilities be damned now. "RUN!" cried Ben.

I didn't need to be told twice and I thought of jumping behind the bar, before the fact that if I did, I'd probably be stuck with the tab made me reconsider. Instead, I hunched my shoulders down, held my wrench in a two handed grip, and rushed for the nearest exit, ready to plow through anyone trying to stop me.

"You're buying the beers next time!" KJ shouted as she drew both her katana and wakizashi and ran in a different direction, a large portion of the horde in hot pursuit.