The Professor and the SOS-dan, A Match Made Somewhere Other Than Heaven

I look over the crowd which has degenerated into utter chaos, trying to find out where that many pitchforks had come from when I notice a pair of Drones selling them and a guy trying to hide them. Igniting my rocket boots I fly towards the guy, my lab-coat billowing dramatically behind me, while calling out: "Hey! You there!"

^_^

The instant the.... panty grenade (didn't the drones buy a box of those?) exploded, I knew that the authorities would come by later, so I rushed to the drones and started trying to hide the proof, or at the very least get them to stop waving it in the air and trying to sell it. I suddenly heard a loud whoosh, "Hey! You there!" Hoping that, against all odds, I was not the one being addressed, I turn my head and, aghast, saw a man flying, with genuine rocket boots, towards me.

I probably shouldn't have been surprised, I could probably cobble up something similar with liberal applications of handwavium, but the chances of meeting someone crazy enough to use rocket boots are just... beyond understanding. I had spent a full minute in flabbergasted surprise when I suddenly recognized the man and let out a loud mental scream, "Fuck, the Professor. Quick, have to hide the drones somehow."

And, of course, the drone with the pitchforks chose that moment to pipe up, "Greetings good sir. Would you be interested in one of our genuine wood pitchfork and torch combo? It's our lynch mob special right now, 25% off if you buy both."

Landing in front of me and looking me over we an unreadable expression, he says. "I assume these drones are yours?"

I look down at the drone, sigh, and reply, "Yeah, I guess so."

He suddenly grabs my hand and pump's it while congratulating me on a job well done. "Excellent for setting the mood, I really must commend your work. Lynch mobs just aren't the same without torches and pitchforks."

^_^

Weaving through the crowd who where getting out of my way for some reason, really I didn't expect fen to be this easily intimidated, I followed after the Professor. Only to see him shaking the hand of some blond guy who looks somewhat nervous and completely befuddled. He must have heard one of the bad rumors about the Professor. At least he looks harmless and the mob doesn't look like it will reform, so I shift back to normal mode.

I guess I better help this guy out, the Professor can be a bit overwhelming at times, especially when you are not used to him. Grabbing the Professor's shoulder I introduce him and myself.

^_^

I knew, or rather had heard, that the Professor was odd, but getting congratulated for setting the right mood for his own lynch mob just caused my brain to do the biological equivalent of a GPF error and I couldn't do much more than mumble thanks as my arm was shaken. Thankfully, someone grabbed the Professor's shoulder and interrupted him long enough for my brain to reboot. I turned my head and saw that the psycho from earlier had put her gun-arm away, "I'm sorry the Professor gets a little excited sometimes. My name is Miyu, and this is the Professor, you probably have heard about him already."

Although she was polite, the way she looked at me gave the distinct feeling that she somehow felt that I was just an insect and should be glad she lowered herself to talk to me. For a moment I had to fight the urge to reprogram her with a sledgehammer and a monkey wrench. Outwardly, I only smiled, "Hello Miyu. I'm Laurent Veilleux, Captain of the Schrottplatz. I did hear much about the Professor, but little of it was flattering, so I'm withholding judgment for now."

The torch drone handed Miyu and the Professor business cards reading, "Schrottplatz Transportation and Construction Company. Fine suppliers of your heart's desire since 2010."

^_^

"Put one little death ray on the Eiffel tower and they never let you forget it." Mumbled the Professor. I ignored him and took the card, so he'd been one year in business then. "It's a pleasure to meet you Captain Veilleux. Can I offer you a cup of coffee?" I ask gesturing to the cafe of to the side, doing the bare minimum of politeness. After all we had accosted him, not the other way around.

^_^

I was going to reply, but I noticed that the drones seemed to be plotting together and gesturing the Professors way. Deciding to pre-empt further trouble, I turned to them, "And you two, that's enough trouble. Get back to the ship right now."

They seemed to be thinking of refusing to obey me, but I had pulled my monkey wrench from my belt and was not very discrete in my intentions towards them. They wisely chose to run off. I turned back to the Professor and Miss Psycho, "Coffee would be great, thank you."

As we settled down in the cafe Miyu went to get our orders, the Professor tried to strike up a conversation with me. "Lau, do you mind if I call you Lau? Anyway Lau those are fascinating drones you have there, how do you power them? They seem to have excellent initiative, what algorithm did you use for the Alpha-Beta pruning?"

The Professor seemed to be the sort to ask questions without stopping for answers, so I quickly interrupted him, "I don't mind Lau. The drones use a power source of their own devising; they used to just run around with extension cords behind them. And I have no idea what Alpha-Beta pruning is, but as for their initiative, well, I had built a few of them and one day, they started exchanging ideas and, before I could react, they had modified each other beyond whatever plans I had for them."

I sighed, "To be perfectly honest, Professor, I don't understand them anymore. They are an experiment that spun wildly out of control. They even reproduce for christ's...!" My mind caught up to what I was saying and I sighed again, "Sorry about that."

"Ah the power of Science, no need to be sorry, I am a fellow man of Science! I understand how frustrating it is to not being able to gather all the data on your creations, but that is the beauty of SCIENCE! Eventually we all need to let our creations go into the wide world, but there is always the next experiment!" The Professor got up and was pacing around waving my arms for emphasis. "Trust in the Power of SCIENCE!"

I looked dubiously at the Professor, "Science? Cobbling together whatever I can scrounge up from various junkyards and coating it with several coatings of Handwavium is science?" I shook my head, "I really don't think it is Professor. I'm far from Scientist material. I'm just a guy who was tired of washing the dishes and built drones to do it for him, nothing more, nothing less."

"But of course it is Science, you formed a hypothesis, that handwavium could animate drones to do the dishes, and tested it by building the. Oh sure it was just a small step for mankind, but we can't all be Neil Armstrong. By gradually advancing step-by-step we push forward the boundaries of knowledge! That is the power of SCIENCE!"

At that point Miyu returned with the drinks, interrupting the professors rant before it could really get started. "Oi Prof! We are done on our end. How did your meeting with those SOS-dan people go?" Asked a pink haired girl in some sort of uniform, shouting to be heard over the crowd as she and a blue haired girl headed towards us.

"Their leader appreciates the power of SCIENCE!" Answered the professor at an unnecessary volume now that they where sitting down next to us, drawing quite a bit of attention from the crowd, especially since many where wondering about the mysterious SOS-dan.

"Catty, Ryoko this is Captain Laurent Veilleux. Captain Veilleux, this is Catty Nebulart," Miyu interjected, gesturing towards the pink haired girl, "and that is Ryoko Asakura." Gesturing this time to the smiling girl with long blue hair in a schoolgirl uniform.

I rose an eyebrow at the mention of the organisation that called the convention. The Professors reaction, though, made me think that their leader might be as odd as him. I had to check though; maybe I was simply mistaken, "Is that leader you mention as..." I tried to find a more diplomatic word than odd, "enthusiastic as you are?"

I should probably have asked about the goals of the organisation instead but, to be perfectly honest, I didn't really care all that much and could wait patiently for them to tell me on their own.

"Haruhi-sama is one of the rare few that understand the greatness of my work, her enthusiasm is even greater than mine. She is truly an inspiration, if only there were more leaders with her vision." Said the Professor. I did notice that all three of the Professors assistant reacted to the honorific. In Miyu's case it was a rising of the eyebrows, Her expression showing surprise. Catty blinked and seemed pleased about something, but Ryoko reacted the most. She froze, only for a moment and her serene smile never slipped, but now I could see it for the mask it was.

"Sama? Isn't that an awfully respectful form of address for the leader of an organisation he isn't even a member of?" I thought. And judging by the reactions of the Professor's androids, I wasn't the only one to think so. It was at that point that my brain caught up to the rest of the sentence, "Greater!!!"

Only a slight sharpening of my breathing betrayed my horror at the thought of someone being worse than the Professor.

It was at that point that I noticed that my silence would soon stretch too far, "Really? She sounds like a very... impressive person."

"Oh she is. I hope you will support her tomorrow." Before the professor could continue though someone behind me called out. "Laurent old buddy! How have you been? Won't you introduce me to these three beauties here?"

I definitely knew that voice, and a glance confirmed it. Roguish smile, red hair, a rifle on the back and so, bloody, tall. I waved without turning around and replied, "Hey Taesha, meet Miyu, Ryoko, Catty and the Professor." I pointed to each person as I named them.

I then looked at the Professor and his assistants and hooked my thumb back towards Taesha, "Don't mind her, she's just likes attention"

"So, how's been life treating you these days?" I finally turned around to look at Taesha, and noticed that she had stopped listening to me at some point, instead openly leering at Miyu.

Miyu just looked Taesha over and deliberately schooled her features into a dismissal while answering in a frosty but polite tone "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance Taesha." While making it abundantly clear that this was not the case.

"Oh no the pleasure is all mine. What do you say to a little private meeting, just the two of us?"

"I would be delighted, however I have a duty to protect the Professor."

"Oh don't worry yourself on my account Miyu. Go and have some fun for a change."

"Of course professor. In that case I'll finish the report for the Beta-404 series of tests. After all I'm sure I can persuade Taesha to volunteer for a few tests." Agreed Miyu her voice much warmer than before but with a strong undercurrent of danger. The psychotic little smile on her face caused half the fen in attendance to take a step back.

"Gulp, eh why don't we stay here for a bit, I am curious about these SOS-dan people." Answered a suddenly very nervous looking Taesha.

"I believe that is my cue." said a smiling guy in a business suit as he stepped forward. "My name is Itsuki Koizumi, and I am a member of the SOS-dan."

"Ah Koizumi a pleasure to meet you again." Said the Professor as he got up, "Unfortunately duty calls, and I must get back to work. Please convince these people of the rightness of our cause in the name of SCIENCE!"

"Captain Veilleux, it was a pleasure to meet you. Taesha" Said Miyu getting up and giving a short bow to both of us.